I’ve been trying to write a new blog for about 3 weeks now, I almost have but then the lurgy arrived and then Christmas happened. Now it is new years eve eve and I have caught a mutant teenage germ from my daughter. She had two days in bed shouting requests via text message. I have been asleep for almost 20 hours in various locations in the house; bed for abit, the sofa for most of it. My glands hurt, my head hurts and I had to withdraw from an afternoons volunteering at a homeless project. Im pretty fed up. I did manage to walk the dog around a very grey and windy park, cursing the loss of my headphones which is preventing me from listening to my new audible book.:’The Worry Trick, how your brain tells you to always expect the worse and what you can do about it’. Yes it is the new year, and my New year resolution is not to make any because then I set myself up to fail, then I emotionally duff myself up.
I would like to work on developing more self care and compassion. Not berate myself constantly because I’m not achieving or gaining or losing or achieving enough. Christ! enough already!
Its going to be a strange 2018. Lily will be leaving home and heading off for university adventures . This coincides beautifully with the menopause and no doubt alot of empty nest drama. Thanks for that mother nature. Im going to miss her like crazy but she is so ready. I am in no doubt that in ten years time she will be some high flying and brilliant wonderwoman, fighting the gender pay gap and being fabulous.
I have thought about doing a masters, but then that would be alot of time and money and is that what I really want? I think I want to dress windows for Harrods, or create huge floral masterpieces, or design people’s living rooms or carve huge creatures out of chocolate or be a personal present buyer. do a Las Vegas residency? All or nothing. Introvert and extrovert. Indecisive as hell. If someone could take over all my decision-making I’d be very grateful. Today WordPress used ‘Almost’ as a prompt word. Almost is very applicable to me because I have realised what a procrastinator I can be. I find it hard to focus on tasks for long periods of time. Even as I write I am constantly distracted by a plant that needs watering, a picture that might look better over there, and that nail varnish is nice..I’ll just try some on…attention span of a flea.
I’m currently wearing 2 jumpers, a cardigan and a scarf. The heating is on and i am wrapped in a fleecy blanket, watching Bette Davis on telly and eating ritz crackers with leftover christmas cheese. My dog is asleep on my feet dreaming about a stick he found earlier and doing that dog asleep running thing, and its a pretty perfect scenario for me. I could do without the ill but then it has confined me to one place long enough to do some writing so, you know’ every cloud.
So let me take the opportunity to wish everyone a happy, healthy and productive 2018. You are all beautiful. Fill the next 12 months with love, be kind and remember to stop and smell the flowers along the way. Love your bodies because they are amazing, even the squishy lumpy bits. If you want the cake eat it. Make sure you drink your tea at optimum temperature, you deserve that. Be kind to animals even the spiders and the slugs. Feed the birds and they will reward you by moving into your hedge and singing every morning at 5 am. Smile and say hello to strangers, it could make their day. Dont throw rubbish on the floor and don’t buy vegetables and fruit wrapped in plastic. Be especially nice to the people who ‘serve you’, remember they are only human, say please and thank you and remember that according to coffee law, technically and scientifically speaking there is no such thing as a ‘extra hot’ cappuccino. Don’t judge. Be yourselves. You are good enough. Look at the sky for abit and see if you can see a Tyrannosaurus Rex in the clouds. Don’t be afraid to ask people if they are OK. Let the person behind you who nipped in for a pint of milk and a cinnamon swirl go in front of you and your heaving trolley in the Lidl checkout queue. Be THAT person. Let the car pull out. Let the bus pull out, more often than not you will get the ‘bus drivers’ thank you thumbs up’. Sing along really loudly when you are driving. The world is often a messy old pile of horse poo but if you can’t change something counteract it with an act of kindness,however small. Turn that frown upside down. Smile at yourself in the mirror every morning.
And on that note of randomness, the Lemsip beckons.